Twinkle twinkle the undead
vegetarian an under fed.
never sleeping, sneaking in
bedroom windows, never sin.

 

Banging and fanging, shaking the bed
making out with the unholy dead.
Screaming and dreaming all through the night
the beast with two backs is never contrite.

 
My Friend The Vampire

‘Before I found you, David, in all the world I had had only one friend and he was without a doubt, the kindest, most gentle man.  He liked women and their conversation, not keen on cats though, well neither am I, so we were suited.  He wouldn’t eat my cooking, but I can’t eat my cooking either, so I wasn’t insulted.  [...]

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